Dyspepsia: Notes on Romance Formula
Well, look:
1. I don't know what annoys me more - the notion of finding a mate as the One True Purpose for every plot in the genre, or that all these romance novelists are telling this to a society so braindead with the same message from song and silver screen that it has become an unexamined article of a very boring and common faith.
2. Love talk - like sex talk, and quite unlike love and sex - is dull. Yeahyeahyeah - it hurts. yeahyeahyeah - it's wonderful. yeahyeahyeah - I don't know what to do.
3. No other literary genre insists that every meal must end with a variation on a spun-sugar dessert.
4. What's with all this love/hate conflict? A choice is either stupid or not, and don't think any complete character revelation you get partway through the relationship is going to be like Beast-into-Prince revelation rather than something Bluebeardish.
5. The heart has its reasons that the mind knows not. And you will descend rapidly into penury by placing your bets on them.
6. You think all this obsession with the bad-boy hero doesn't spill into your personal lives at all, and, not incidentally, reward us for bad behavior - at least until unexplored complications ever after? I always wanted to be a nice guy.
7. Assassin with a heart of gold and a cock of steel still translates morally out to a murderer who pleasures small pets with skillful hands.
I don't know. I was just thinking about the alternate endings of Great Expectations. And how much more there is to say in loss than gain. "Nothing fails," Stravinsky assures us. "like Success."
8.
8.
3 Comments:
...you said cock.
the other day Beth made reference to a "teased coochie."
I kinda want my mom right now.
3:53 PM
"I don't know what annoys me more - the notion of finding a mate as the One True Purpose for every plot in the genre or that all these romance novelists are telling this to a society so braindead with the same message from song and silver screen that it has become an unexamined article of a very boring and common faith."
Romance novels are no worse (and no better) than genre fiction in terms of narrowness of subject matter. It's all about turning that crank, and apparently love stories turn a lot of people's cranks.
"No other literary genre insists that every meal must end with a variation on a spun-sugar dessert."
All mysteries insist that the mystery be solved by the end of the book. All fantasy novels and SF adventure books insist that the world be saved from the evil Sauron clone at the end. All thrillers insist that the bad guy be caught, though whether the hero makes it through alive has occasionally been (though only very rarely) optional.
"You think all this obsession with the bad-boy hero doesn't spill into your personal lives at all, and, not incidentally, reward us for bad behavior - at least until unexplored complications ever after? I always wanted to be a nice guy."
I'm a voracious romance reader, and I don't have an obsession with the bad-boy hero, though I enjoy reading about them. I've mostly dated and fallen in love with sweetheart geek boys. I ditched the alcoholic boyfriend with no hesitation once he stopped being a happy drunk and showed signs of becoming a mean drunk. The two women I know who consistently date bad-boy assholes wouldn't touch romances ("those awful trashy novels!") with a ten-foot pole. I also doubt romance novels are the only medium reinforcing the bad boys = desirable message. I think if you look at statistics closely, whether or not women were abused (physically or emotionally) as children will correlate a lot more closely with their adult love lives than the kind of fiction they choose to read.
7:19 PM
1. Unexamined? That's why these books are read and written - they EXAMINE it.
2. And anyone writes it like that, they deserve to have their pages disintegrate in a pool of sleep-drool. But mostly we're all voyeurs and love to eavesdrop on other people's's's love lives.
3. Bullshit.
4. Yeah, you haven't read many. In fact, you've maybe read one or two in your whole life, am I wrong?
5. Exactly! See, that's why it's so FUN to read about.
6. You ARE a nice guy - but you can also be a total dick. Which basically describes a good romance hero. (Not that I'm writing a book starring you anytime soon.)
7. Yes, and stop saying cock, eww!
8. Proofread before you publish. Or else explain what the empty eights mean.
Empty Eights: great band name.
9:56 PM
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