De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum

Not that I've ever believed that, but I did promise no more than one political post a week and would in fact have some notes bonum et dulce et mea culpa. Well, IHO, I will repeat my all-time favorite joke from that era.

Q: Why did Menachem Begin order the Sabra/Shatilla massacres?
A: He wanted to impress Jodie Foster.

These things lose most of their zing over time. Still makes me smile, though, although that may be just the weakened echo from when I first heard it, in the fourth booth at the Ratskellar, three beers and a coke on the table, and the joke was Susan's. That night she either slept with me or slept with Doug. Some things you remember and some things you just don't.

So, a note about wit. Not as fine as Peter Beagle's, perhaps, but still a fine exchange, Sabatini level:

Audry, leaning back, surveyed Sit Tristano through half-closed eyes. "Sir, I must say that for a mission of this importance I would have expected a person of somewhat more august wisdom and experience."

Sir Tristano smiled, "Sir, I admit that I am only three years older than King Aillas, who perhaps for this reason regards me in the light you mention. Still, if you are dissatisfied, I will withdraw instantly to Troicenet and there express your views to King Aillas. I am sure he can find a qualified emissary: sage, elderly, of your own generation..."

- Jack Vance The Green Pearl



Tristano's first line is fine, but, again, it's the final catalog that does it. The rhythm is important: "sage" [beat] "elderly" [beat] and the quick flurry of the real attack: "of your own generation."

Like most wit in books, the exchange is brittle and artificial, stage dialogue, mock formal - not meant to mimic normal speech at all. Even the sense is wrong: an emissary like Tristano would not go that far with a king already inclined to neutrality on his mission. It doesn't advance the plot; it is a tiny bit out of character; it's just fun. But what do I know? I smile at mass-murder jokes.